He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
