Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
