I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize