my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
