He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
