btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
