If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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