he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
