There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
The adults are the big ones right?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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