dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
