haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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