do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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