That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
