Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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