So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize