Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
