i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
