Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
