You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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