i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
