Pappa wants mamma naked
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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