Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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