Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
