Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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