seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
