Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
