We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
so much tequila, so little girl.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
