My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
