I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
