If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
This house was built for laser tag.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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