Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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