I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
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he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
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I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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