she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
thus making me awesome and them whores
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
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My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
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How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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