DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
