Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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