The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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