At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
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