508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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