just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
