this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
