i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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