It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
