in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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