he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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