Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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