please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
they're like a gay fantastic four
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Randomize
