pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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