would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
