you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
