idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
