You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
