The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
