I can tuck mytits in my pants
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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