Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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